Beginning Somewhere

It's hard to believe that I actually wrote this a little over two year ago! At first I was going to change some of it to make it more current. Somehow I think there is value in leaving the original thoughts as they are.

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Where do I begin? Well first off I do not consider myself a writer or even very good at articulating my thoughts and feelings on a normal basis much less on a public format where those very muddled thoughts and feelings are out there for all the world to see. Once upon I time I would have considered myself at least adept at putting together a sentence well grammatically, but as with anything that lacks repetition and practice, those too have seemed to fall to the wayside. I will at least attempt to catch my spelling errors or at least hope the spell check gets it and in the mean time pardon my misplaced commas and probably more than a few run on sentences!

I have decided to attempt this seemingly daunting task of starting another blog (first one is found here) because I find myself at a place in life I never expected or anticipated. Daily I am stumbling my way through thoughts and emotions I am not sure how to process and so, after much thought, I have decided to try and write them down in hopes that these words will chronicle my journey and help me learn and grow into a better woman, wife, and momma.

A little about me...my name is Ashlee, I am 31 years old, have been married to a wonderful man for 6 and 1/2 years, and we are the proud parents of two beautiful children - Henry (3) and Brighton (11 weeks). Before staying home with my little ones I was a ballet and modern dance teacher. Outside of my family and God, the arts, dance in particular, is my greatest joy in life. There is nothing else that causes me to feel more alive and more myself than when I am moving. Someday I will walk into a studio again, but for the time being I am thrilled to be a stay at home mom and pour all I can into this brief season of life where they are so young and learn so much.

So what is this unexpected journey? It begins with my beautiful little girl who came into this world with quite the flurry and fanfare just a brief 11 weeks ago. In truth all of life is unexpected and as much as we like to plan out our days, weeks, months, and years, we really and truly have no idea what the next day could hold. I went into that hospital on December 8th anticipating the birth of my daughter. Truthfully I have anticipated that moment my whole life, 25 years were riding on the next few moments ahead of me, hardly believing the day had finally arrived and I would be able to hold my sweet girl, my precious bundle of joy. It was shortly after her arrival that we were told in a most kind and compassionate way that our daughter showed several signs or symptoms of having Down syndrome.

I am currently working on writing her birth story, but considering how brief that story is in reality it is certainly taking me a while to write about it and in the process it could already be enough for three blog posts! In deciding to write these posts I realize there may not ever be anyone who reads this or shares in the process of our journey and that is okay. For me it is meant to be place where I can release my thoughts, emotions, joys, and sorrows. One day maybe even sharing them with my children, with my little miss who has forever changed my life and heart and her story has only just begun.

Ashlee

Photography Credit: Christina Forbes Photography of NC